Monday, November 1, 2010

I'm just sittin' on a fence

My grandparents pretty much had the happiest marriage I've ever heard of.

If I could be guaranteed this, maybe my stomach wouldn't hurt every time I thought of marriage.

Sometimes I'm terrified of getting married.
I mean really terrified.
I know this isn't a fun blog or anything... don't read it if you don't want. This is my blog though and I decide what goes on here.

Anyways... I don't want to stop having dreams, or not be able to dye my hair cherry red and wear wine colored lipstick without a man getting on to me for it.
I'm not sure if this even makes sense or not.
I think I'm still jaded from that ex fiance of mine who liked to tell me how to dress and do my makeup and hair... asked me to throw out all my tights and told me how much he hated boots on a regular basis.

I know there's a man out there who won't hate my outfits, lipstick, love of cowboy music and also love of 90's grunge... or at least a man who can name one Rolling Stones album.

I also don't want to lose my identity... It sort of seems like marriage does that to a lot of people.

I'm just sort of discouraged right now.