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Hello blogging world. It's been awhile, but that it because I have been contemplating a lot of things regarding blogging. I thought about deleting this entire blog and becoming a recluse, but that seems pretty unhealthy so instead I've going to revitalize it.

I've actually gone through and deleted some posts that maybe I can't relate to anymore. I've changed so much in the past few months... really just since Christmas time of this past year.

I still love old things of course but I think I've switched eras to some extent... I buy science magazines and write down goals for my life on a regular basis.

I suppose I am trying to grow up. I will be 25 next year after all.

Also I'm a youth leader now and I'm aware that I'm around kids ten years younger than me... I really don't want it over my head that I've been any sort of bad example. They're all cool teens anyways.

This post is a bit rambling, but I just have a lot going through my head right at the moment.

So to conclude, I am going to start updating again on a regular basis, but I will avoid any stupid updates about how I wish I was living in the 60's because that isn't true anymore. I like living right now because I have the entire future ahead of me and I get to make of it what I want.

The sky is the limit isn't it?:)

"The year of the Diamond Dog"

My current favorite album is "Diamond Dogs" by David Bowie.
I know I've mentioned him on here a million times but I don't give a crap, for this is my blog and I will post what I like.
So basically it all started when I realized that I had "Hunky Dory", "Ziggy Stardust", "Aladdin Sane","Young Americans", "Low", and "Heroes". I had notably skipped over the 1974 Diamond Dogs era. As soon as I noticed this I had to go and download the album.
The first time I heard it I listened to it three times in it's entirety. THAT'S how good it is. I couldn't believe I was just now hearing it at the age of 24. It was a rainy day at work and for some reason no one else was in the office that I work in that day. I just filed paper work and listened to that album all afternoon while drinking coffee.
Sometime after that I started reading the book "1984" for the first time. What I had forgotten about until then, was that the entire Diamond Dogs album is a concept album based on that book. So as I was reading the book, this album was the soundtrack... and it was PERFECT.

I've since realized that this album was pretty much trashed by a lot of critics at the time and seen as a major step back from Aladdin Sane/Ziggy. Bowie's persona on this album is of course "Halloween Jack who's a real cool cat and lives on top of Manhattan chase".
I don't care what any critics or fans think, this is a high point in my opinion and now on constant rotation for me.

The "glam tinged dystopian, post-apocalyptic world" is captured perfectly. The whole album has a dystopian air to it, but I don't find it depressing at all. New York has been renamed "Hunger City" and is in the "year of the diamond dogs".
The first track "Future Legend" warns:"This ain't rock n roll, this is genocide!".
The track "Diamond Dogs" has a very Stone's like feel to it with the riffs and slide guitar. Actually one thing I love about this album is that by this time Mick Ronson had taken off on his own, so Bowie played not only the rhythm guitar and saxophones on this, but also the lead guitar parts. It adds a distorted, messy touch which I think fits really well here.
The next track is my favorite part of the entire album, "Sweet Thing/Candidate/Sweet Thing Reprise".
The first time I heard this, it immediately became my favorite song. The vocals start out extremely low and sour within the first verse. Apparently the lyrics were written using the Burroughs "cut-up" technique so they're pretty steam of consciousness. The melody is very haunting too. I highly recommend taking a listen.
The middle part of the album is all great, but my second favorite part of the album are the last two tracks: "Big Brother/Chant of the ever circling skeletal family".
The lyrics on this track are phenomenal in my opinion, going along with the "1984" theme. The chorus "Someone to lead us/someone to follow, someone to shame us/some great Apollo, someone to fool us/someone like you/we want you big brother". Then all the sudden the tempo changes for about a minute and all that's there is an acoustic guitar and vocals that warn "I know you think you're awful square, but you've made everyone and you've been everywhere/Lord I'd take an overdose if you knew what's going down". Can't think of a better way to articulate the horror of big brother and dystopian 1984.
The next track is just chanting and distorted guitar, it ends with a skipping "Bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh...ect." which in an eerie way sounds like the word brother.
All in all, if you are a Bowie fan, 1984 fan, or a fan of glam dystopian rock I highly recommend this album because it's intense and unforgettable.

This is a new thing I'm going to start doing from now on by the. Detailing my favorite albums and explaining what it is I love about them. Hope you enjoyed it!:)

"Build your reputation on being honest and unmerciful"

I'm realizing that when you have no peace about something it is usually for a good reason.
If you only feel sick when you think of new prospects like a job... a new guy... a new hair color whatever... It's usually something you should take mind of.

I make a good single girl. I get nervous when I think of dating anyone because I'm so good at being single. I get to do whatever I want. I can read three books in one day, eat popcorn for dinner, spend the whole evening cutting up clothes and teaching myself songs on guitar. It would be hard for me to give that up as stupid as that may sound.
There is some kind of dignity to being alone. I don't want to lose any dignity when I decide to date someone again.
I would like to wear bright clothes that don't always match, star stickers on my eyes, and teased hair without any disapproving boy looks from a guy who would rather be dating someone in a floral shirt and a pair of toms. Not to knock that, but it's just not me.
I've had boys tell me they don't like my clothes in the past so this is a sore subject for me and something I refuse to compromise on anymore.
You may say "well it's just clothing, it's external not internal" blah blah blah. It represents more than that to me. It's expression about who you are and it is essentially your identity. Maybe not to everyone, but that's what it means to me. Boys have taken a lot from me in the past but one of the few things they can take from me is my beliefs, my music, and my identity. I would die before giving up any of those things.
I used to make mix cd's for boys just on whims but I don't even do that anymore. I don't like them listening to the music I'm listening to. The last guy I did that for doesn't even speak to me anymore. The music I listen to is a form of a diary for where I'm at, at the particular moment. I am hesitant to make anyone a mix cd these days, barring some chick friends.
I don't talk to many people about what I like because for me it's too personal. That's probably stupid to most people but it's not to me. What you enjoy ends up shaping who you are whether you like it or not.
So basically I am living in a world begging me to compromise and I am refusing to with all my might.

My Favorite Mar(c)(k)s

As a continuation on my post I did awhile back about my two favorite Davids (Bowie and Grohl), here is a post on my two favorite Mar(c)(k)s!
Two more from the Glam and Grunge eras respectively and ironically at that. Not even intentionally either.



Mark Arm from Mudhoney! Covered in mud... haha.


Marc Bolon! The little British Glitter nugget T. Rex front man.


With fake rival but real friend, fellow blond boy




with mostly rival but sometimes friend fellow Glam pioneer




Mr. Arm shaking Mr. Vedder's hand at The White House

The best two Mar(c)(k)s I could ask for.

Thoughts for now

In recent news:







I cut my hair into a shag the other night with Christmas scissors. It makes my hair look constantly messy now which I'm okay with.



I started painting this week as well. This is my first one.



I'm finding myself pretty ambivalent about being in any sort of relationship right now. I'm much more creative when I'm not in one and also, well not as STUPID.
Anyways, any man who wants to catch my attention will be competing with all my old man rock and roll crushes.
I swear I think my head is always in the clouds.

Just in case of sunrise

This blog entry is slightly different than other ones I usually post F.Y.I.


Last week was one of the craziest weeks of my life so far. Valentines day was approaching, as was my sister's due date which was set for 2/16/12.
On Valentines Day, my mom and I decided to head to the city my sister lives in which is an hour and a half away. We decided to stay the night and be there just in case.
At about 1:30 in the morning my sister is groaning in pain and having contractions so we rush her to the hospital. Me and my mother sit in the waiting room until 4 in the morning. I fall asleep sitting up in a chair. The nurses there decided to give my sister 2 ambiens and send her home... I was half asleep but I knew that this sounded like a terrible idea. It was terrible, because she was hallucinating by the time we got her home and also still in tremendous pain. I have never been around anyone in labor before, but I'll never forget it. I got perhaps an hour of sleep, because I could hear my sister screaming in the next room until sunrise. Finally at 10 a.m. we decided she's going back to the hospital, even though they told us not to bring her back until the afternoon. We were in the hospital from 10:30 a.m. to 10 o'clock at night. Baby Aaron was born a tiny 5 lbs. 7 oz. He was very cute and I was excited to be an aunt.
So me and my mother had to drive back to our town to get more clothes because we were going to come back the next day to help with the baby. We got home around one in the morning.
The day I worked for half a day, and then wondered where my mom was and if we were going back to my sisters. I was informed around 5 in the afternoon that my dad had, had a very unexpected heart attack.
Off I went to a different hospital in a different town. I cried in the hospital and was still too tired from the day before to think straight. My weekend went by in a blur. My dad survived and was very lucky that he did. The doctors said that if he had not always taken care of himself he would have died because he has a genetic condition apparently.
Right now I'm very thankful my dad is alive and that I am a first time aunt.
I didn't even think about boys this Valentine's day because I was thrown into life and realized there are things more important.
I feel more grown up now just from the past week than I wanted to be, but I don't regret that.

Here are a few pictures from last week I snapped when I wasn't operating on 2 hours of sleep.



I have a weird milk obsession right now. I mixed it up a little and got some strawberry Nesquick that day. I party hard.


A family of kids gave me this on Valentine's day and it's my favorite Valentine's gift I have ever received.




This is Aaron, my nephew. He gets the that expression and the lips from his mom.



This was me at my sister's shower a few weeks before. It just demonstrates how I am still feeling at this moment, so I guess this shot is prophetic. I'm tired.







I'm believing things are going to start looking up now, so I'll be sure to update with some great news that it is. I apologize for a somewhat heavy blog entry, but that's just life sometimes. Heavy.

Hmmmm

In recent news....

1.) I have decided to re-do my room. I am going through some weird transition... or something. I clean things now, give away my clothes on a regular basis, take things off my walls, and watch the same movies over and over again. I am not sure why any of this is happening.

2.) I am obsessed with going on walks. I don't know why, but it clears my head and makes me feel like things are under control. I am not a jogger or a gym person... I actually don't like working out per se, but I LOVE walking. It's an everyday thing for me know. I've also lost ten pounds in the past few months, probably from all that walking.

3.) I wear nice make-up now, use nice shampoo and conditioner, and only buy face wash from sephora. This is such a 180 for me... I always feel weird spending a lot of money on beauty products but the harsh facts were that my skin and hair weren't as good as they could be. So now I wear MAC and Urban Decay, use Redkin smoothing shampoo and conditioner, and wash my face with Murad twice a day. I tell you what ladies, sometimes spending a little extra is worth it. My skin looks better and I don't have to use half as much make-up/shampoo as I used to.

4.) Oh I turned 24 three days ago. It was a weird birthday to be perfectly honest.

5.) I have been wanting to watch Pretty in Pink and Back to the Future for the past month and I have no idea why. I can't explain most of the things I like anymore.