Monday, November 1, 2010

I'm just sittin' on a fence

My grandparents pretty much had the happiest marriage I've ever heard of.

If I could be guaranteed this, maybe my stomach wouldn't hurt every time I thought of marriage.

Sometimes I'm terrified of getting married.
I mean really terrified.
I know this isn't a fun blog or anything... don't read it if you don't want. This is my blog though and I decide what goes on here.

Anyways... I don't want to stop having dreams, or not be able to dye my hair cherry red and wear wine colored lipstick without a man getting on to me for it.
I'm not sure if this even makes sense or not.
I think I'm still jaded from that ex fiance of mine who liked to tell me how to dress and do my makeup and hair... asked me to throw out all my tights and told me how much he hated boots on a regular basis.

I know there's a man out there who won't hate my outfits, lipstick, love of cowboy music and also love of 90's grunge... or at least a man who can name one Rolling Stones album.

I also don't want to lose my identity... It sort of seems like marriage does that to a lot of people.

I'm just sort of discouraged right now.


  1. I totally understand where you are coming from. The person who is right for you is going to love you for who you are, no matter what you wear. I know that living where I live it is hard to find guys who understand my "style" but they are out there. They really are, just a little harder to find, but that is what makes them interesting, right?

    I'm a bit scared of marriage as well. Unfortunately most all that I have seen end up miserable. I am determined to keep my own and not let myself go, like most married people do. I want things to stay fresh(not saying they will be perfect) but some people may call me naive for wanting that. I know that there are marriages out there that really do work, I think because they are the lucky ones who found their "soulmate". On another note I think that "soulmates" come in all different forms from friendships to whatnot and I think that you can have more than one.

    Sorry that I wrote a short novel! hahaha

  2. I'm so glad someone else feels this way!
    I live in the deep south... so every guy here thinks I'm a complete weirdo.
    I'm young so it's not something I want to do tomorrow, but I'd like to get married... I'm just not going to sell my soul to do it.

    Soulmates definetly come in all shapes and forms. I've got several girls that I consider soulmates in a sisterly friend like way.
    It's not so easy with guys though... if I think a guy is like a soulmate it's just too hard to not think about dating him or visaversa.
    But hey I'm human

  3. I spent my youth thinking soulmate meant husband... and while, despite the worlds belief and my own personal history, I still believe there is someone for everyone... however I agree that soulmates come in all sizes. And realziing my gal pals fit the "soul mate" description... makes my quest a little easier. BEcause at elast I know at the end of the day tehre is someone to love me and validate me... even if we dont make out haha

  4. and there is someone to put up with all my typos.. haha

  5. Totally agree with ya!!I think marriage is overrated . You shouldn’t have to change for no man, Sometimes you have to be your own best friend. The right man is out there..hopefully lol...but Let him find you. Love your hair colour! Don’t like being blonde, reds more stand a good way :) xx

  6. Trish it's way easier to have friend soulmates for the moment and I will totally put up with your typos!
    And summerbaby I am definetly not ever changing again. I did it once and I was miserable.